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Hey {{first_name| Friend}}

I had a discussion with my daughter last week at dinner. It went south fast! I apologized later and we discussed what happened.

However, I was in the wrong!

So, I went back to study the best way to discuss who we are, what we are feeling, and/or are we making a decision…

(Inspired by communication expert Jefferson Fischer)

1. Lower the pressure

Try: “I know this feels tense. I’m not trying to argue. I’m just trying to understand.”

Example: Instead of chasing them down, you create space without shutting the door.

2. Validate before you challenge

Example: “I can see why that matters to you” before offering your view.

People defend less when they feel understood.

3. Stay curious longer

Example: “Help me understand why that bothered you.”

Curiosity keeps the conversation from turning into a courtroom. Besides, I love starting the phrase with “I’m curious.”

4. Handle silence calmly

Try: “I’ll give you some space. I’m here when you’re ready.”

Example: No texts, no pressure, no emotional chasing.

5. Verify, don’t assume

Ask: “What did you hear me say?”

Example: You say, “We need to talk about spending.” They hear, “You’re irresponsible.” Clear it up early.

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